
a book
Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most
Douglas Stone · 2000 · 400 pages
Whether dealing with an underperforming employee or a challenging colleague, disagreeing with your spouse about money or child-rearing, negotiating with a client, or simply saying "No," "I'm sorry," or "I love you," we attempt or avoid difficult conversations every day. No matter how competent we are, we all have conversations that cause anxiety and frustration.
This book can help. Based on almost thirty years of research, Difficult Conversations walks you through a step-by-step approach for how to have your toughest conversations with less stress and more success. You'll learn how to:
• Decipher the underlying structure and challenge of every difficult conversation
• Raise tough issues without triggering defensiveness
• Manage strong emotions—yours and theirs
• Keep your balance no matter how the other person responds
• Get to the heart of the matter in ways that promote learning and build relationships
Filled with examples from everyday life, this third edition is thoroughly updated and addresses issues such as race, culture, gender, power, social media, and communicating via technology as we talk to one another across the world—and across worldviews. With constructive communication an ever more critical need in personal, professional, and public life, Difficult Conversations is a classic you will turn to again and again for powerful, practical advice.
recommended by 8 people
sourced from public statements

Patrick O'Shaughnessy
“A valuable lesson that never gets easier to implement: There’s always some looming hard conversation that you haven’t had with someone yet, but need to. Have that conversation as soon as possible. Life improves through difficult conversations. This book helps:”↗
Peter Skomoroch
“@josh_wills @karlhigley This book helped me navigate some minefields during my first software job after college: “Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most””↗

Jim Knight
“Sheila Heen’s books Difficult Conversations and Thanks for the Feedback are coaching classics that have really influenced my thinking. I get to keep the learning going when I talk with her during next week’s coaching…”↗

April Wensel
“@amyvpellegrini I really liked a book called Difficult Conversations. I also love the book Nonviolent Communication for conflicts.”↗




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